The Vampire Conspiracy

And for posterity, here’s the original recording

Now streaming everywhere… streaming… in blood! Mwahaha.

Lyrics

Of course climate change is a conspiracy
Made up by socialist vampires to push policies
A greener fairer world that’s our evil plot
Free-range organic humans have the most delicious blood

We’ll build clean energy to improve air quality
Creating lots of jobs with fair pay guaranteed
A well-being revolution that’s our evil plot
Free-range organic humans have the most delicious blood

And recycling is a lie
To make you go outside
The night you take your bins out
Is the night we bite

We’ll tax the frequent fliers and make the trains free
Covering your planet with lots of lovely trees
Stress is a pollution we don’t want blood to clot
Free-range organic humans have the most delicious blood

Smart meters are a lie
So you invite us inside
We hide in hi-vis
So we catch your eye
(To mesmerise you)

So now you know our plan to descale economy
Measure growth in happiness instead of GDP
Don’t try to warn the others
It’s already too late
The next blood we drink is running in your veins