I wrote a song about Santa having a mental breakdown
Because of his role in consumerism
Available on all good streaming sites, and some naughty ones too.
Don’t Cry Santa Lyrics
It was a cold night
I woke up with a fright
To find Santa sitting there
Under the tree lights
He said what’s the point of me
What do I stand for?
I’m just holiday prop
Here to make you buy more
Oh Santa
Don’t cry Santa
Sure they can dress like you but there’s no one like you, Santa
He said Rudolph fly high
I want to jump from the sky
We can’t afford to waste
Another mince pie
Every present I give
Is a future I stole
When I buy kids more stuff
It melts the North Pole
Oh Santa
Don’t cry Santa
You’re the father of Christmas where’s your self-forgiveness, Santa?
I said Santa you don’t need to kill yourself
It’s not about gifts, just ask any elf
You’re there for every child who wants to believe
There’s more to life than we see
Santa stood up
And seemed to smile
Said I’m just getting some air
I’ll be little while
He climbed up the chimney
I heard a thud on the floor
Ran outside to find Santa
Lying dead at my door
Oh Santa
Don’t die Santa
You’re breaking my heart plus your sleigh’s double parked
Oh Santa
Next day I went down
To a black magic store
Read up on spells
And prayed some more
Sat down by your grave
And sang a song to hell’s hounds
And then your zombified hand
Shot up through the ground
Oh Santa
Undead Santa
You’re not quite the same now you want to eat brains
Oh Santa
Picked up my guitar
And took a clean swing
Blood splattered the walls
As I stood over him
The stockings might be empty
Now that you’re gone
But in us your kind spirit
Should always live on
Oh Santa
Goodbye Santa
You made us all buy stuff but taught us all kindness
Oh Santa
Ho ho Santa
Read Next » I launched a fake ad agency