I wrote a song about Santa having a mental breakdown

Because of his role in consumerism

Available on all good streaming sites, and some naughty ones too.

Don’t Cry Santa Lyrics

It was a cold night
I woke up with a fright
To find Santa sitting there
Under the tree lights

He said what’s the point of me
What do I stand for?
I’m just holiday prop
Here to make you buy more

Oh Santa
Don’t cry Santa
Sure they can dress like you but there’s no one like you, Santa

He said Rudolph fly high
I want to jump from the sky
We can’t afford to waste
Another mince pie

Every present I give
Is a future I stole
When I buy kids more stuff
It melts the North Pole

Oh Santa
Don’t cry Santa
You’re the father of Christmas where’s your self-forgiveness, Santa?

I said Santa you don’t need to kill yourself
It’s not about gifts, just ask any elf
You’re there for every child who wants to believe
There’s more to life than we see

Santa stood up
And seemed to smile
Said I’m just getting some air
I’ll be little while

He climbed up the chimney
I heard a thud on the floor
Ran outside to find Santa
Lying dead at my door

Oh Santa
Don’t die Santa
You’re breaking my heart plus your sleigh’s double parked
Oh Santa

Next day I went down
To a black magic store
Read up on spells
And prayed some more

Sat down by your grave
And sang a song to hell’s hounds
And then your zombified hand
Shot up through the ground

Oh Santa
Undead Santa
You’re not quite the same now you want to eat brains
Oh Santa

Picked up my guitar
And took a clean swing
Blood splattered the walls
As I stood over him

The stockings might be empty
Now that you’re gone
But in us your kind spirit
Should always live on

Oh Santa
Goodbye Santa
You made us all buy stuff but taught us all kindness
Oh Santa
Ho ho Santa

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